As It Were
by michelerene
Summary: Harry has Severus but Snape is only now realizing that maybe he never had Harry. Snape/Harry Dedicated to Roely whom I owe because I lost a bet.


Disclaimer: Not mine. Bummer.

Summary: Harry has Severus but Snape is only now realizing that maybe he never had Harry. (Snape/Harry)

Author's Note: This story was written because I lost a bet with my personal muse and long-lost twin, Roely. Seriously… it's freaky how similar we are in thoughts and attitudes. But, and isn't there always a but… there is one thing we DO NOT agree on. I am a firm believer in the joys and wonder of Draco and Harry getting it on anywhere and anytime they can and please. She prefers the joys and … no, I can't even write it. She likes Snape and Harry! SNAPE! Sigh. Anyway, I lost and so instead of her writing me a brilliant one-shot with Draco ravaging Harry in the rain, I'm writing a love story about a pedophi… I mean about a tall, dark and handsome Severus and his little love muffin, Harry. Let the story begin…

Wait… WARNING: Part of the bet stipulated that I include something of the citrus fruit variety. Meaning… "Harry and Snape sitting in their bed… F- U- C…" Anyway… I hope you know what I mean. If you don't, then you probably shouldn't be here… see the rated "M" warning. Leave now. Otherwise, enjoy.

As It Were

The dark haired young man pushed his way through the crowd huddled under one of the few awnings the street boasted. The rain beat down on his head and he attempted to pull his coat collar higher up on the back of his neck. It was futile before he even started.

Green eyes flashed behind strangely dry and clear glasses and the man ducked into a deserted alleyway scaring a scavenging cat from his evening meal. The trash can made a deafening clatter as it fell to the cement and rolled to a stop against the alley wall.

"Okay, well, I think that's enough of this." The man grumbled and before the cat in the alley could leap the battered fence, the dark haired man vanished.

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Harry reappeared outside of his house. The pale blue paint that looked so welcoming in the sunlight seemed to suck in the dreariness of the stormy weather making the home look cold and uninviting. Harry tucked his shaking hands in his pockets hoping for a shred of warmth. He was disappointed and a shiver shook his whole body. And yet he still didn't move toward the house.

He looked up and blinking through the curtain of rain, saw the light on in the upstairs study. Severus was home. Harry's heart sped up like it always did at the thought that he was there, in Harry's house, their home, waiting for him.

Harry rocked back on his heels and fisted his hands in his pockets. Getting the tall man had been hell. The world had been falling down around their ears and Harry stood alone, the Savior of them all. Hundreds looked to him to make it better, fight the darkness and save their whining asses and all the nineteen year old adolescent could think about was getting into the broody man's pants. Woe to the republic.

And so, because Harry was a smart boy, he did some research on his target. Hermione would be so proud. He still remembered his 'informants' reaction.

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"Bloody Merlin! Are you serious?!" Draco leaned heavily against the bar staring at Potter like the boy had grown an extra head… no… more than that. An extra dick. Yeah, an extra dick out of his extra head.

"Yes, ferret! I am serious and keep your voice down, you bloody prick."

Draco snickered and pushed another shot glass filled with something sinister at Potter before picking up his own 'magically' filled glass. The dark haired boy sighed and downed the contents before slamming the glass against the bar.

"So?" Highly irritated green eyes met highly amused gray ones.

Draco finally set up straight and looked into the eyes of his 'friend'. Ah yes, there was the constant twitch at the term. Anyway, he looked and decided that maybe, just maybe Potter was being serious.

"Alright, Potter, for clarification's sake, let me see if I understand what you are saying," Draco smirked at Harry's eager nod, "You have the hots for… oh Merlin… Snape. And you would like me to help you 'bag him'… as it were."

Harry winced but nodded, "Yes. As it were."

Draco turned around scanning the barroom his back pressed against the bar and his hands lying regally against his abdomen. Harry's eyebrows furrowed, how does he do that? Look like a prince even when he's dressed in five day old clothes and lounging in a shitty bar?

"And you're sure about this?" The blonde said not pulling his gaze away from the occupants of the room.

"What the hell do I need to do or say to make that clear enough for you, Draco. Fuck. I should have done something else, asked someone else. This was a waste of time." Harry made to stand, but the blonde was quicker and pushed him violently against the bar.

"He will eat you alive." Draco hissed, "In order for this sick fantasy of yours to see the light of day or the darkness of anyone's room BUT mine, you will never back down. You will never doubt yourself and you will never, ever consider his feelings over yours."

Harry swallowed. Not two minutes ago Draco was having a problem sitting up straight, but now the gray eyes were clear and piercing. "Harry… He is a dark man with a dark past and he doesn't cuddle teddy bears. You are a teddy bear… of the highest bloody order. Everyone knows it. Perhaps you should find yourself someone softer." Draco stepped back and shrugged, "Or at least someone who doesn't mind expressing human emotions."

Harry took a breath and pushed himself back onto his stool, "Yes, I am aware of all that. But he's who I want. I won't compromise and I've already taken everything he is into consideration." Harry glared at the smirking blonde, "And Malfoy, I'm not a goddamn teddy bear."

"Yeah, whatever, Pooh-Bear, here's what we do…"

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And so with Malfoy as his personal 'love' guru, Harry had pursued the black haired man with the tenacity of a starving lion. He made his position clear and refused to take no for an answer. He was aggressive, cold and cunning. He never asked Severus to need him, to lust for him, to love him. No, Harry Potter TOLD him to.

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Of course Snape argued against it… well, he argued when he didn't just roll his midnight eyes and twirl around, exiting the room in a swirl of dark ropes and sexually charged air. As he was exiting the room, building, dirty broom closet, he knew that Harry leaned seductively against the wall and smirked. Where the HELL had the golden boy learned to do that?

"I know what I want, Sev, and your opinion will only matter for so long."

Severus flinched, he knew that too.

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Finally, after some time on the campaign trail, Harry had cornered Severus in the Black Library. The older man didn't even try to get away. If he was truthful with himself, and he always was… he had to be, he lied to everyone else… he knew he was attracted to the annoyingly persistent whelp. He had spent many a night since the beginning of Harry's campaign… Damn, okay, not lying to self… maybe a little bit before… imagining those green eyes staring up at him in need and lust. And the young man's hands… those damn Seeker hands… He wanted to feel Harry's passion, fuck, he wanted to bathe in it, drown in it.

A sigh drew his attention to the subject of his thoughts. Harry set in an armchair near his own. His brilliant green eyes were closed and his black hair was a nest of chaos, slightly damp from the shower, Severus supposed. He knew that Harry had been out fighting for the last three days and he could see the wear on the young man. His face was paler and his lips chapped. Suddenly, Harry's left hand began to shake and without even opening his eyes, the dark haired boy moved the hand into his right and massaged the spasm in the tired, overused muscle.

"What did you do, Potter?"

"I want you to fuck me, Snape."

"That is not the subject of this conversation…"

Green eyes snapped open and seemed to spark in the dimness of the room, "Every conversation that you ever have with me will be about that 'subject'. I might be talking about killing snake bastards, but I'm thinking of pushing you against the wall. I might be discussing dinner plans with Mrs. Weasley but I'm actually thinking about wrapping my mouth around your erect dick. Every bloody thing in my life is about that 'subject'." Harry leaned back again as if the outburst had taken something from him, "For someone so much 'older' and 'wiser', as you have pointed out on many a boring occasion, you'd think you would have figured that out."

Snape set the book he had been reading down and leaned forward. Once again those green eyes were hidden behind thick, dark eyelashes and he took the moment to run a hand across his face… in frustration? In weakness? In defeat? He might never know. Today this would end. Adjusting his robes, Severus leaned back and placed his hands on the arms of the chair.

"I am twenty two years older than you."

"Good, you'll die first… I don't know if I can keep loving your pale ass forever." Harry barely moved, just sat there tired but tense, waiting for the onslaught of excuses and reasons for his feelings to be 'wrong'.

"I am your teacher."

"Newsflash… I dropped out."

"Your Father was…"

Green eyes once again cut into black, "Dead."

"Your Mother…"

"Dead."

"Your Mangy Godfather…"

"Also dead!" Harry stood and stalked toward Severus' chair. "I can do this all night long, Sev. Dumbledore, dead. Remus, dead. Tonks, dead. Cedric," His voice broke but with a shake of inky locks his eyes became hard once again and he leaned down, his own trembling hands holding the older man's in place. "DEAD!"

Harry pushed forward and attacked Severus' surprised mouth. He licked and bit and soothed and hurt. "They are dead. We are not. Their influence or opinions no longer count for shit. Grow up! Let the past go." Harry whispered barely a breath away from Severus' swollen lips.

Snape removed his hands from beneath Harry's and pushed the boy away or at least out of his space. "Potter," Severus growled as he watched green eyes swirl with emotions too numerous and chaotic to name, "You are too young to be making bold declarations such as 'love' to anyone. Much less to a man who hated your parents and has sulked in the shadows of fear and death for nearly all of his life."

Harry ran a hand through his hair and Severus saw his jaw clinch, "Youth… remind me of that again?"

"I will not listen to your melodramatic woes, Potter."

Harry simply lifted his hand and Severus found himself pressed back into his chair, "Like hell you won't." The young man snapped out.

"How are you doing this, Potter?" Snape asked his voice calm like a man talking to a skittish animal.

Harry smirked again and a chuckle escaped, "Let's call it 'accidental magic' brought on by 'extreme and prolonged sexual frustration', shall we?"

Snape didn't reply and instead raised a dark eyebrow. The whelp was in control… for the time being.

"Listen, Sev, just tell me that you have never thought of me in the way that I am thinking of you right now," The emerald eyes sparkled running up and down his body, stopping occasionally on places that immediately heated under the gaze and Severus had to bite his tongue to stop himself for asking what the young man was thinking, "Tell me that and I'll walk away. But know this… I know about your past and I love you. I know about your present and I love you. I know that you are cold, cruel, heartless and by all accounts 'broken'. I can't predict the future but regardless of your answer right now, tonight, I love you."

Harry waved his hand and Severus felt the pressure against his chest disappear. He didn't move and he didn't take his midnight eyes off of Harry's.

"Potter…"

"Please, Sev."

"Harry… it is dangerous for me to be with anyone. Being with me would put you in danger."

Harry's eyes opened in flabbergasted shock, "Are you serious?"

"Yes." Fuck, here he was trying to protect the little idiot and the boy was just showing his monumental immaturity…

Suddenly Harry was straddling his lap the boy's lithe hands twisted in his hair and yanked his head back so that once again they were face to face.

"I'm beginning to think, Professor, that you aren't a smart as you would have us all believe."

"Get off me."

Harry replied by thrusting his hips forward once, twice, three times… Severus bit his lip to stop the moan that wanted to escape at the blissful friction.

"No, I don't think I will. Do you honestly believe that me being with you will put 'me' into 'more' danger? With WHO? I don't know if you got the memo, but I've been Voldemort's 'most wanted' since, hold on, let me do the math… BIRTH!"

Severus made to open his mouth when Harry yanked his hair even harder, "If anything, SIR, it is you that will be in more danger. Is that what the problem is? Are you frightened?"

Midnight eyes flashed, "Potter." Severus growled in warning.

"I only ask because I am having a very difficult time understanding what your goddamn holdup is?" Harry tightened his grip so that Severus couldn't move and licked a trail across the scolding man's jaw to his ear before gently nipping at the pale earlobe.

"I will not give up. I will have you. Everything else in my melodramatic life has been laid out before me. Everything I do is for other people, but you, you 'I' want and I won't change my mind and I won't let anyone… including you… deny me my only fucking wish!"

And Snape cracked. It might not work tomorrow, or the next day or next year but for tonight Harry Bloody Potter was going to get his wish.

"Get off me and take off your pants, Potter." Severus hissed and smirked at the innocent wide eyed look he received, "Unless you're frightened?" He sneered.

And that was how Severus got to see firsthand just how 'fast' Harry could be.

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From then on it was just a matter of convincing Sev to stay, convincing his friends not to freak out and killing the snake bastard when Sev crawled home three quarters dead and screaming Harry's name in pain.

Their relationship was complicated… in its simplicity. Harry had drinks with Malfoy once a week where he let out all of his pent up Pooh-Bear emotions much to blonde's disgust and then he went home and continued following Draco's original advice. 'Never back down. Never doubt yourself. Never consider his feelings over your own.'

The thing was… well, this aggressive, cold, detached young man living in Harry's body just wasn't Harry. But at night when Sev cleaned them up and pulled the smaller man against his chest, Harry would whisper 'I love you' and maybe he imagined it, but Sev's arms would tightened around him as he fell asleep. It was worth it.

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Harry was sure he had never been this wet in his life but he still didn't move toward the house. Today had been long and trying and Harry wanted nothing more than to go into the house and crawl onto Sev's lap and cuddle and complain and cry and just have someone hold him and care.

Now, he knew Sev cared. But dark man didn't tolerate such displays of emotion well… or at all. And so Harry squared his shoulders and headed toward the door.

His muttering was lost to the wind and the rain, "Never doubt yourself. Never considered his feelings over your own. He DOES NOT cuddle teddy bears."

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"Bloody Merlin! Are you serious?"

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy. Don't make me kill you."

Draco thought about being scared, but he knew Snape wouldn't do anything to him. How would he explain it to Pooh-Bear? And so he smirked and mockingly held up his glass in a toast toward the adorably hand-tied man.

"Alright, sir," Sarcastic wink, "For clarification's sake, let me see if I understand what you're saying." Menacing lightning bolts flashed through midnight eyes, "You want me to help you woo one Harry Bloody Potter, Savior of the Wizarding World and Golden Boy of Gryffindor. You want me to help you get into the darling wonder boy's fluffy little heart… as it were."

Severus' hands tightened around his glass and Draco fancied that if it could, the glass would be screaming. Sev would like that. Once a Slytherin, always a Slytherin.

"Yes, you little prick! As. It. Were." The dark haired man bit out. Sighing, he pushed himself back further into the arm chair in Draco's library. "Harry needs something… more."

Draco arched a perfect, light eyebrow urging the man to continue.

"He is everything I could have hoped for in a lover. He is detached, efficient when the situation demands and independent. He requires no words or displays of affection beyond a rambunctious fuck nearly every night…"

"Damn it! This is my house. I don't ever want you to say anything like that again… especially about Pooh-Bear." Dark eyes widened at the 'nickname'. "It's just inherently wrong… on several different levels."

Draco stood up and moved toward the window. His ears strained to hear as Snape continued, "And none of those things, those things that make him 'perfect', are really Harry."

Draco turned around all humor absent from his face, "Very good, Professor." A slow, sardonic clap echo through the room, "And to think, it only took you two years to reach this dazzling conclusion."

"I don't appreciate your tone, young man."

"Ah well, shucks." Draco stepped back around his chair and took a seat. "Get use to it. Pooh-Bear is emotion incarnate. He is kind, caring and thoughtful to a fault… he is, in a word, Gryffindor. Now, two years ago he came to me and said that he wanted you. You! And because even I can't say no to someone so… Gryffindor," The word was spat out like a curse, "I helped the delusional idiot. I must say that I didn't think he'd succeed. So for the past two years I have helped Potter tap into his inner-Slytherin. I've coached him to hide his feelings and needs and be the 'efficient' lover you are so proud of."

Draco smirked at the shocked look his former teacher gave him, "Two years…"

"Yes, Professor, two years… Harry has been lying to the man that he loves for two years because he'd rather hide his true self than lose you. And I have to say, you asshole, you don't deserve him. Two bloody fucking years for you to decide that Harry 'needs more'." Draco sighed, "It took Potter two minutes to figure out what you needed."

"I want to fix it." Severus' tone was blank, but his eyes were sincere and even a smidgen desperate. Just the way Draco liked his little 'projects'.

Draco tilted back his glass and drained the contents, "I know. Here's what we do…"

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Harry pushed open the door and shrugged off his wet coat as it closed behind him. He toed off his shoes and started down the hallway.

"I'm home." He whispered to no one in particular because there would be no response and stopped to peel off his wet socks. No point in getting everything wet. After jerking the second one off, he noticed something red sticking to the bottom. Plucking it off, it became clear it was a rose petal. That's… odd. Harry finally took in his surroundings and saw rose petals scattered down the hallway. Okay… maybe Sev wasn't home and instead one of Harry's many stalkers had finally found him and in an attempt to win his heart had puked dead flower parts all over his home.

Oh, Merlin… he was becoming the cold cynic he was pretending to be.

Harry pulled out his wand and cautiously followed the trail as it lead toward the kitchen. There, in the middle of the table, was a steaming cup of hot chocolate and a fluffy green towel. Harry looked around and seeing nothing else out of the ordinary… as if this in itself wasn't enough… shrugged and approached the table. He grabbed the towel and cautiously dried his hair still looking for signs of evil doing.

A soft 'pop' had him spinning and the rose trail disappeared before reappearing leading out of a different door. Well, he'd never know if he didn't play along so he dried off quickly, lifted the cup of cocoa carefully and followed the trail.

It ended in his bedroom. On the bed, his silk bathrobe was laid out and Harry could see from the faint simmering above the article of clothing that a heating charm had been placed on the maroon material. As if remembering its current state, his body gave a fierce shudder and his teeth began to chatter. Okay, you win, Mr. or Ms. (wouldn't that be disappointing) Stalker. Harry walked to the night stand and brought the cocoa to his lips. Oh… it was good. So good. And by the pleasant burning Harry felt flow into his stomach, not just hot chocolate. Yum… his favorite. He was Harry Bloody Potter and if he wanted a little 'happy' in his cocoa, by Merlin, he was going to have some 'happy'. He closed his eyes and licked his lips clean before setting the cup down and beginning to undress.

In the back of his mind he wondered if his stalker was enjoying the show, but then another set of shivers nearly made him lose his balance and he ripped the wet cloth off before slipping the warm robe on with a content moan of appreciation.

"Bloody hell, I love being a wizard."

Another soft pop was heard and the petals changed direction again.

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Cocoa secure in hand, Harry found himself outside of the bathroom door, looking at the closed door. His hand was suspended just centimeters from the handle and he thought about what he knew about his stalker, thus far.

Not much. Whoever it was did their job well. All of Harry's needs and wants had been met up until this point and even the sickeningly sweet 'trail of roses' made his silly heart beat a little faster. They knew his favorite drink and his favorite robe. Harry didn't wear it that often. In his current 'situation' he tried not to be so 'open' with his Gryffindor tendencies.

Finally, his hand made the connection with the handle. Who the hell was he kidding? Of course he was going to open the door. When had he ever walked away from anything?

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Steam billowed out of the room and Harry waved his free hand in front of him in the hopes of seeing what lie beyond. When he could, he dropped his cocoa.

Severus stood inside the bathroom wrapped in a green silk robe of his own. His wand was out and pointed at the dark haired young man and Harry fleetingly wondered if this was when he was going to die, standing in his bathroom, with a raging hard-on, at the hands of his older lover.

"Harry," Severus smirked, "You're normally not that careless." Harry blinked and green eyes stared ahead in confusion. He gasped when something nudged his hand and he looked to see his cocoa cup floating innocently and unbroken beside him.

"Huh." Harry said ever so eloquently.

Severus levitated the cup onto the bathroom counted and tossed his wand to follow.

"You're awfully quiet tonight, Potter." Severus was now standing in from of the green eyed man and brought his slender hands up to rub tenderly up and down Harry's silk clad arms.

"Sev?" Harry shook his head and blinked several times, "I don't understand… I don't…"

"Shh… you're cold aren't you? Come here." A larger hand wrapped around his own and Harry felt himself pulled further into the bathroom, the door closing quietly behind him. Harry looked into the tub and found it filled to nearly overflowing, bubbles, rose petals and magic flitting across the surface.

"I saw you standing out there." A voice whispered in his ear, sending shivers down his spine that had nothing to do with the temperature. "Like you always do when you get home. Just standing out there staring at our home." Sev pushed the fabric off one of Harry's shoulders and placed gentle kisses on the exposed flesh, "I wonder what it is you're thinking out there? What you are doing?"

Harry squirmed out of the man's grip and forced his legs not to buckle. "Who are you?" Green eyes pierced into fathomless black.

"Oh, have we never met? I'm Severus Snape, lover of one Harry James Potter, Gryffindor and Idiot… although those terms are near synonyms of each other."

Harry held his hand out as the dark haired man pressed forward, "Sev?" Dark curls shifted in front of green eyes as Harry tilted his head to the side, "What is all of this?"

Severus ignored the question and the stalling hand and wrapped strong arms around his confused lover. "Do you wonder if you made the right decision?"

"No, never!" Harry denied, shaking his head against Sev's warm chest.

"Do you wish for something more?" Harry didn't answer this time, but still stiffly shook his head.

"Or perhaps you are standing out there pushing down everything you are to be someone I can love? Is that it?"

Again Harry jerked out of the strong hold, shaking his head. "What are you talking about, Snape?!" 'I never back down, I never show any doubt…'

"Don't lie to me, Harry!" And Severus yanked the man toward him. "This is not who you are! This is some mantra created by Draco Malfoy, off all bloody people, which you have to chanting to yourself for two goddamn years."

"No… I don't… how do you know this?"

Severus forced the black head against his chest and maneuvered them towards the blue dressing bench before sitting down with Harry in his arms.

"I watched you grow up since you were eleven years old. I watched you struggle through and achieve things no one else could imagine. Did you think that I hadn't seen the real you… your true heart… in all that time?"

Harry stiffened in his arms and whispered, "Are you… are you leaving me?"

"Yes, I routinely spread rose petals and make warm baths before breaking people's hearts… isn't that what all the young people are doing now?"

Harry sniffled and then muttered, "What would 'you' know about young people?"

"Whelp!" Severus tightened his grip and then pressed a tender kiss on the dark crown of Harry's head nuzzling the untidy curls. "Harry, I never wanted you to be anyone other than who you are. I knew that you were 'acting' for my benefit, but I never should have let it go this far."

"I just wanted you… to lov… want me too. I didn't think you'd ever want the 'teddy bear' me."

"Teddy bear? Merlin's balls… bloody Malfoy!" Severus hissed and then pulled Harry away to look into the wide green eyes that hunted his dreams… both awake and asleep. "If that were true, then you never should have pursued me. Never compromise who you are… for anyone. Especially who 'you' are."

"Yeah… Savior, Boy of Lived…"

"No… Harry. Just Harry. My Harry."

Harry whimpered and pushed himself up until their lips met. It was glorious. The first kiss Harry had ever given his love as 'himself'. He held nothing back… he moaned and whimpered and bit and sucked as the urge struck him and Sev had to push him away before they both died due to lack of oxygen.

"Harry," Sev whispered against Harry's swollen lips, "You're still cold. Get in the bathtub."

"No," Harry said wrapping his arms around Sev's neck, curling his fingers in the straight, silken strands of the older man's hair. He smiled, "You warm me."

"How about we compromise, my little lion." Harry blushed at the nickname but nodded none the less when strong fingers pushed the maroon robe off of his shoulders.

Standing up, Severus slowly untied the belt of Harry's robe while he nudge the boy's head to the side and devoted himself to the marking of his little lover.

"Oh… oh…. Oh…" Harry moaned and pressed his newly exposed erection against Severus' still covered one.

"Impatience… just another thing you have been hiding so well." Sev whispered and let his own robe drop to the floor.

"Merlin…" Harry whispered as he stepped forward and ran his hands up and down Sev's broad chest, allowing his fingers to trace the light dusting of hair the man had. "You are so… beautiful."

Severus' smiled but then hesitated when he saw tears begin to pool in Harry's green eyes, "What? Harry?"

"It's just that I've always wanted to say that." Harry gave a watery smile and when Sev's face began to twist into understanding, allowed one of his fingers to tweak the taller man's dark nipple. "It was just a good feeling that's all. Shall we continue?"

Severus put both his hands on Harry's cheeks and pulled the young man's face toward him, kissing both eyes before reaching down and sweeping Harry into his arms. Ignoring the young man's surprised squawk Severus headed toward the waiting bathtub.

Stepping carefully over the side, he eased himself and Harry slowly into the water, relishing in the 'perfectly' maintained temperature. He smiled when Harry whispered against his chest, "Bloody hell, I love being a wizard."

Adjusting to make themselves comfortable, Severus leaned against the back of the tub and Harry sat securely between his legs. Sev's hand ran up and down the young man's chest while he took in the scent of Harry's hair until he thought he'd become drunk from it.

"What does all of this mean, Sev?" Harry said taking one of the roaming hands in his own.

"It means that you are you. Always. And I am me. Always. And we are together."

Harry chuckled, "Always."

Turning around so abruptly that water splashed outside of the tub, Harry straddled his pale lover.

"Sev, I want more."

"Anything… what? You can have anything."

Harry smirked and Severus finally knew where he had learned it… bloody Malfoy.

"Why you, of course."

Harry leaned his head down and pushed Sev's to the side leaving his own mark of ownership. Severus was so distracted by the sensations on his neck, he yelled when he felt Harry's hand grab hold of his penis, jerking up and down at an excruciatingly slow pace sure to kill him before it was over.

"Harry…" He moaned and run his hands over the smooth chest of his little lover, pulling and tugging at defenseless dark nipples before forcing Harry's head up so that their lips could meet once more.

"More, Sev… more, please."

Batting Harry's wandering hands away, Severus reached an arm around the panting man and toyed teasingly with his entrance. Just before Harry could reprimand the man a lone finger worked it's way into the tight muscles and held still for a moment before moving slowly in and out.

"Merlin… save me…" Harry said into the side of Severus' neck.

"Not tonight, little lion. Tonight there's just me," Another finger joined the first, "And no one has been cast as the Savior here." Harry moaned as the added finger found a spot inside that made him see stars, "Harry, we are lost… together," Third finger, "Forever."

"Yes, yes, yes…. Oh Sev!" Harry pressed against Sev's chest as he thrust his hips down and around to get more of the feeling.

"Wait for me, Harry. Don't you want more?" Severus asked jabbing the man's prostate on each thrust while biting and sucking on Harry's trembling shoulder.

"Please…"

Severus removed his fingers and twisted his body so that more water fell to the floor but so that Harry was now the one under him. His breath caught in his throat as he looked into Harry's green, expressive eyes… how had he lived with the detached young man for so long? Oh, the things he had missed! But that changed tonight. Here and now.

With that final thought he buried himself inside his waiting lover.

"HOLY SHIT!" Harry screamed his eyes squeezed shut and his hands like vises around Severus' arms.

"Shhh… I'll wait. I'm sorry. Shhh…" Severus kissed Harry's eyelids until they relaxed and moved on to his cheeks, forehead and neck.

"Okay… move. Now. Move." Harry panted and gently thrust his hips in agreement.

Severus did as asked and started a slow, gently pace. Harry mewled beneath him and he wondered how in two years it never occurred to him to slowly make love to Harry. He bit his lip, the emotion coursing through him was… indescribable… beautiful, wonderful, painful all at once.

That's why. He'd never done it because he knew… he knew if he made 'love' to Harry it was real… it was forever and it would never go away. He wouldn't let it. He'd kill to keep it if he had to.

"Sev…" Harry moaned beneath him, "Why? Why does it hurt?"

Severus stilled, "Where Harry? Where does it hurt?"

Tears fell from green orbs and Harry touched Sev's chest over his heart, "Here" then he touched his own chest, "And here."

"It's not pain, Harry. It's beautiful… it's how it always should have been. Harry," Strong hands held Harry's cheeks as Severus' thumbs caught falling tears, "It's not pain, Harry. It's love. Because I love you."

Harry sobbed and Severus caught the quivering lips in his own.

"Sev… I love you. I love you." Harry spoke against his lover's lips. Severus started pumping into the man to the mantra Harry repeated again and again. As the white hot bliss of orgasm threatened to sweep him away he realized Harry wasn't the one saying it. It was him.

"I love you. I love you."

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Harry walked into the house immediately upon apparating onto his front lawn. He opened the door and hollered, "I'm home!"

From deep inside the house he heard, "Welcome home, little lion."

Harry smiled. This was love… as it were.

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End file.
